Community Helps Create Restlessness and Discerns Pivot Points

Authenticity is enhanced when one has a trusted community or person that is able to speak the truth in love without doing harm.  Community is very helpful because sometimes we are blind to the things that hold us back and we are not even able to ask the right questions. 

We can be blinded for any number of reasons but the worst blindness comes when a person refuses to reflect or even allows the questions to be asked.  This is an unhealthy and self-perpetuating blindness.   This type of blindness comes when a person refuses to admit that there is even a problem that needs to be addressed and is usually insistent that problems that do not exist or are caused by someone else.  Quite frankly, this type of person seldom has successful transition or change because they even miss seeing the opportunities and invitations offered through a time of restlessness or a pivot point and will not invite anyone to help them see things differently.   These folks become unhealthy and unhappy and stay stuck in their own muck.

Other types of blindness at least have the possibility of hope and change.  A healthy person will self-reflect and will seek the input of those who know them well.  To have healthy change means to make sure that one has one or more people in life who will make sure that all of the reflective questions have been asked.  It is easy to miss an issue, but having a community offer input will almost insure that a person is not blind-sided. This community can be made up of friends who are not afraid to serve as mirrors and are people with whom you feel safe.  They can be strong critics but when one knows that speak the truth in love they are critics to be listened to and heard.

Another way to move into healthy reflection is by working with a spiritual director.  A spiritual director listens and then helps the individual listen for God.  The spiritual director can be the one to ask good questions and then can help foster a climate for listening to God through prayer.   As a spiritual director, I really do not direct.  I sit with the person and listen.  I ask questions.  I turn over emotional and spiritual rocks but I do not tell the directee what to do.  After I have explored options, asked questions and turn over rocks, I invite the directee into the quietness of prayer and together we listen for what God has to say.

TRUST must be at the center of this transitional process  because some can ask the questions in a way that doesn’t feel safe or can even make a person feel like they are under attack.  To have an individual or community that you can trust allows for growth, change and powerful development.

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